Hating myself

Please read. I'd like feedback on if what I think is correct. Please do. Thanks.

Sadness in all forms is bad. But it can be triggered by many things. For me it's from myself as a person and my progression through what should be a normal life as well as the past.

I always think I'm not good enough it's a terrible trait. I am a 16 year old boy who is chubby and even now has never kissed a girl. Which bugs me. All my frejnds have and I haven't.
Am I not good enough?
Am I an irritant?
Do I not know that I'm s horrible person?

I don't think I am. But that must be the reason why no one wants to. I've had girlfriends but they never kiss me or I them. Not sure if I'm a coward or ugly. Or both.

See this annoys me. I have a freind who's younger than me at the age of 13. And I now his frejnds and I'm pretty sure they have kissed girls. Now isn't that sad? Like honestly how horrible. I'm older and I've done less. I hate it.

That's just another thing I do.

I look to the past. I had a group of freinds. Age 13 but where younger then. And I was there best freinds as I relate more to them. I think it's because I'm an only child and all I want is a brother to help. To play with on holidays. But that can't happen. So I'm stuck having to use this want for a brother on those younger. And it's fun until they leave. Imagine losing all your brothers at once.

Yeah it's bad.

I hate it. All I want is a brother. That's it. Or a good freind. But no. Life hates to give me that opportunity.

I care about everything. My size in all senses. But who knows. I sure don't know. It's awful and I hate it. I wish it would stop but it won't it's just there. Just awful.

But well who cares. Poor me I'm just one guy. Oh well.

Bye.